You just couldn't wait to read it right!Well, so are millions of people around the globe.We spend a lot of time and energy in our quest for the perfect relationship.
We read books,subscribe to online dating sites,hop from one relationship to the other,change our out looks and mannerisms,cry,fight,even use jazz(fetish means),and still end up back where we started. lonely,sad,unfulfilled and heartbroken.
Heaven knows I too suffered from"perfect relationship syndrome. In my quest for the perfect relationship . I have read every thing from "how to hypnotize a man,secrets to trapping that man forever,catch that man in 3 days,get your ex back,making that man a slave to your love(I better not mention some names..lol), to the acclaimed "Art of Seduction" .
Ok!I was fascinated by this book and I read and applied it to the latter. I tried to be like cleopatra whom they said captured the worlds greatest men (eg caesar)with a single glance. what was her secret? Evolving. she made sure she evolved ,her looks ,her hair,outfits,fragrance etc.she always made her men feel like they were meeting her for the first time. Always put on a show. Was she the most beautiful?No she was even described as an average looking woman.
Well,I tried to apply the rules of cleopatra which was quite a task and seemed to be working then(at least for four months).even did the cleopatra hair style.I forgot one thing,I wasn't cleopatra,this wasn't the ancient era,and I wasn't dealing with the world's greatest men. I was dealing with normal,down to earth African men who didn't reason the way caesar did. They didn't give a damn if I tried to evolve like a chameleon. All they wanted was food in their stomachs and probably.....
As a matter of fact,I was being fake.The only thing which survived that experience was my cleopatra hair(I rocked)
Lovely rules but ever watched the movie" two can play the game"?(Not the Nigerian version oo)well that movie brings out the intricacies and disadvantages of starting a relationship based on rules.
Nor matter how hard we(male and female )try not to apply rules,we find ourselves applying them sometimes un intentionally.we do this for two reasons
-Protect ourselves from hurt
-Make sure the ones we love never leave.
What these books don't tell us is that,"rules don't apply to everyone" .There's this rule a friend of mine lived by,whenever he met a beautiful lady,he acted like she was the ugliest in the room. Why? Because he felt beautiful ladies were used to so much attention and so,would be captivated by a man who was nonchalant. nice one if you ask me but,there came a time he really fell inlove with a very beautiful girl,so he put he down as usual,never complementing her.
It worked initially,then she snapped and decided she couldn't take it nomore.she moved in with someone who appreciated her,told her how beautiful she was.all attempts by my friend to tell her he didn't mean it fell on deaf ears. She didn't believe he was playing mind games on her.
So,my number one rule is"BE YOURSELF".I don't mean being a cheat(if that's yourself ooo).just being comfortable. The fact that your spouse walked up to you and indicated interest means you had it going for you.don't spoil it with the games.